Slip Knot
by gusenitsa
Summary: How did Hook make the decision to back off even after promising to win Emma's heart? And now that he's done so, where do they go from here... "I'm going to back off for the sake of the boy. His parents should have a fair shot of making it work without a devilishly handsome pirate standing in the way...I'm in this for the long haul, and you've already walked out on Emma once."
1. Slip Knot

_"I'm going to back off for the sake of the boy. His parents should have a fair shot of making it work without a devilishly handsome pirate standing in the way...I'm in this for the long haul, you've already walked out on Emma once."_

* * *

The maps were strewn around the cabin, a disordered chaos that would have made Liam cringe. Would have made Killian cringe too, long ago. But his mind was disheveled and conflicted, why should his quarters be any different?

One more swig closer to numbness.

Speaking of things that would make Liam cringe...this utter dependence on his bloody poison, his beautiful tonic.

_Does anyone know what happens to sailors who drink rum?_ His mind mocked him viciously; _They get drunk. Drunkenness leads to bad form._

Bad form indeed. What was he still doing here. He could be free of her. This world was unfortunately lacking of voyaging necessities of the magical variety. But he had been a sailer first, and this world had oceans. Could he not be free of her there?

Henry was safe, Emma was home. Her family would probably be having some horrid emotional scene at this moment reveling in their joy of being home and together and safe and all of the good things families do. He glanced back at the desk, the waterways of this world that awaited him should he choose them.

He had been planning his departure for days, from the moment he had returned to this world, before then if he was being honest with himself. Acquiring maps had been a requirement for the more concrete stage of his planned journey, his planned escape. He didn't really need to plan anymore, he had been ready for days. And yet...

He had told Emma that he wouldn't give up on her that he would win her heart... it was bad form to lie to a lady, but then it hadn't been a lie (though the latter statement may have involved a touch more confidence than he actually felt.) He would never give up on her... but that didn't mean he had to be here. Wallowing in uselessness, a hovering specter waiting for the opportunity to break up another family...her family.

_When I win your heart Emma, and I will win it. It won't be because of any trickery. It will be because you want me. _His mind mocked him again and he let out a bitter laugh. Had he fooled her? God knows he wasn't fooling himself.

He dove back into his maps. Henry had brought him some books about the oceans of this world not long after their return to Storybrooke. He hadn't expected to get help with his escape from Henry of all people, but the boy was a clever lad. Perhaps he wanted his real family back... Either way he had found some interesting prospects in those books. One of them suggested avoiding a place called the Gulf Of Guinea, for fear of pirates. So obviously that was on the short list... He had been routing and rerouting potential voyages for days... Is it bad form to lie to yourself? His attention drifted from the maps again rapidly.

He stalked out of the cabin feverishly, making his way onto the deck, running his hand along the well loved wooden rail before reaching towards the rigging of the main stay. The ropes were sure and strong and unwavering; their familiarity gave him purchase to ride out the storm within his mind. Killian jones could handle himself in a storm. Remain calm, keep order, check the rigging, reef the sails... This storm in his head was different, he was lying ahull; adrift and tossed about in the madness. His eyes were drawn to the deck. To that part of the deck, the spot where his eyes would never cease to see his Milah. Perhaps that had been his chance at happily ever after. Now he was the villain; now he no longer deserved one. One thing in particular gnawed at his soul as he gazed at that spot on the deck of his ship.

He had taken a heart.

Killian Jones cringed as Hook rushed to justify it. He was a desperate man, Regina had driven him to Cora and he had no other choice than to work with her. Emma had seen through his masquerade, of course, and it didn't take him long to realize that he had a potential ally in this strange group of women... In the fiery blonde woman who saw right through his charade. She was far less likely to betray him then Cora, right? Wrong, Swan left him behind. Gone back on her word and stolen his chance. Cora would not trust him again, Emma had stolen that from him as well, leaving him with nothing. No hope of ever escaping that land, no way of fulfilling his purpose. Very bad form, indeed. So he did what he had to do, and he stole Aurora's heart and turned it over to a woman who would gladly destroy it once it was no longer useful to her.

How was he any different from the crocodile, now? Aurora too was someone's love and he had pulled her heart out, while she was unconscious no less. A mixture of luck and fate, perhaps, had given him a chance for redemption. He reached for it with a desperation born of the self-loathing that had burned inside him since he took that woman's heart. He gave Aurora's heart back, forsaking a powerful bargaining chip in favor of good form. That did not change the fact that he had betrayed his own soul in taking it. He tore his eyes away from that spot on the deck that had so diverted his thoughts into unpleasant waters. Retreating provided little comfort. Killian Jones was a man of honor, but that man was gone. Not gone, immersed, under so many waves of protective ice and arrogance, desperation and pragmatism that he would certainly drown. Hook was a survivor... Killian Jones was struggling to tread water.

He attempted to find purchase in more pleasant thoughts and his mind drifted to their return from Neverland. They won, rescued the boy and Henry was safe. Emma and Killian settled the boy into the Captain's bed but the boy was antsy, fiddling with a spare bit of rope that was hooked to the wall next to the bed.

He understood the nervousness Henry felt, the feeling that it was too good to be true, you couldn't truly escape pan.

"Let me show you." He had said, pulling the rope down and handing one side to Henry. Emma was glaring at him and Hook knew she wanted to spend some alone time with her son but he kept his focus on Henry. "There are probably hundreds of different knots used in my rigging, though in recent years I've discovered some are not quite as amenable to my appendage. Go ahead and tie this to my hook, anyway you know how."

Henry did so, pulling the end of the rope through the loop he made and tightening it around the hook.

"Good, lad, now sometimes even though you want something to hold very tight, you need to ensure that it can be rapidly released if necessary. Pull it loose and let's turn that knot into a slip."

Henry loosened the knot and looked inquiringly back up at Hook. For a moment Hook saw Bae and he felt as though he'd been drenched in ice water. He pushed it aside and continued, "If you want to make a knot easy to pull you simply adjust the way you finish it. Start that knot again...good, now instead of putting the end through, fold the end into a loop and tighten the knot around that loop. Good, lad, now pull tight. That's not going anywhere, until you pull the loop."

Henry did so and the knot fell free, smooth as silk.

"Neat." Henry commented, trying once more and grinning broadly. "Can you show me another."

"I think your mother would prefer I make myself scarce so she can have you all to herself again."

"Is Captain Hook afraid of my mom?" Henry questioned with a small smile.

Hook glanced at Emma who was glaring again. He smirked at her as he replied: "Dreadfully, lad, worse temper than a Krakan, you're mum...If you're up for it, we can learn another tomorrow."

Henry nodded and Emma sat next to Henry's bed with a nod of what might have been gratitude in Hooks direction as he left the room.

Henry had never asked for that follow up lesson, Hook supposed he was a little busy getting to know his father again. Now that Bae had returned Henry had the chance for a real family, something Emma had longed for her whole life. Certainly she would want her son to have the same.

He was the villain, he had taken a heart and covered his hands with blood... he didn't deserve that happy stupid wonderful family...

So he tied himself to Emma with a slip-knot. He would give her the chance to escape, to make it work and be the perfect little family. But he couldn't let go.

He couldn't leave tomorrow. Tomorrow he would tell Bae that he was going to back off. That he would give him his chance. He'd leave the following day for the Gulf Of Guinea. He buried himself in his maps again, planning the escape route he knew he would never take.

* * *

**Reviews always appreciated :) **


	2. Maybe Tomorrow

Footsteps on the deck. _Doesn't anyone ask permission anymore? I am still the bloody Captain! _He was momentarily glad he had no crew, the utter disregard for his rules would certainly have landed him in a mutinous mess before he could tell them to go scuttle themselves.

It's not Emma. Her footsteps are always faster. Get in, say what you need to, get out. The less time she gave him to speak the better.

Not Henry either, his footsteps are the lighter steps of a child, and he walks with enthusiasm...often preferring to run from place to place. A habit that made him (and his mothers) wince frequently during his time aboard.

Charming's strides are heavier. Purposeful, he does not wander, nor does he try to hide his presence.

Mary Margret's steps are always quiet. In fact, she may be the only person that he doesn't always hear coming. It's not that she is trying to sneak up on him, but she learned to walk quietly in the woods and continues to do so until this day. She also tends to wander, enjoying the view of the water and the cries of the gulls.

His mind too had wandered as he tried to place the steps, but with a sudden bolt of energy he realizes that he actually did not recognize them. Quickly and quietly he heads above the deck to identify the intruder. He does not see anyone at his first scan of the vessel until he looks up. It was Henry after all, and he was climbing the bloody foremast, already he was halfway up the rigging. He glanced around, looking for Emma, it wasn't like her to let Henry do something so dangerous...but his gaze returned to Henry who was starting to look unsteady on the ropes.

"Henry," He called out in a warning tone, "what in all the bloody realms are you doing?" In a few seconds he had grabbed a rope tied a quick loop in the end and begun to shimmy up a parallel portion of the rigging, not wanting to shake the ropes Henry was clinging to. The line twisted and shook under the boy anyway, he hadn't the muscles or the practice for this kind of climbing. When he reached just above Henry's height he tossed the rope over the foresail beam.

"Grab that." He ordered as the rope tumbled toward the boy. Henry did so, clinging to the loop with both hands. By now Hook had slid back to the deck and attached the rope to a pulley. "All right lad, hold tight," and with that he slowly lowered Henry back to the deck.

Once on solid ground again the boy grinned, "I wanted to feel the wind. In Neverland I could fly."

Hook stared disbelievingly, "You wanted to... Never mind, Do not do that again. I can think of a few better ways to go than being flayed alive by your pissed off mother...mothers"

Henry just laughed. "What are you doing here all alone, Hook." Henry asked. "Shouldn't you be out celebrating your heroic return with everyone else. You did save the heart of the truest believer."

Hook laughed bitterly, "I'm not really the celebrating type, lad, not really the heroic type either."

"Everyone's there, even my mom and she hates parties. My dad convinced her it was a good idea to celebrate while they can."

"Thanks lad, as merry company as that sounds I think everyone would prefer I stay right here, particularly your Dad."

"Why doesn't he like you? He's been talking to mom all night and it doesn't seem like you're friends."

The innocent question cut Killian to the quick and he wasn't sure how to respond. "Henry does Emma know you are here?" He changed the subject rapidly.

"Nah, I told her I was visiting Grandma and Grandpa and that I would meet her at grannies later." Henry smirked and Hook watched him in concern, perhaps Henry had been spending too much time with him...

"So did you like the books I brought you, Belle said you could keep them."

Killian smiled to himself, That made sense, add her to the list of people that couldn't wait for him to set sail. Maybe tomorrow. He told himself again. I can't leave today, but maybe tomorrow.

"You can tell her they were much appreciated, lad, I don't think she'll want to be having that conversation with me anytime soon."

"Where do you think you'll go first?"

Hook raised his eyebrows at the boy, wondering for not the first time if Emma had asked her son to give the pirate a little prodding.

"Haven't decided, few good prospects though." He usually wouldn't lie to the boy but something didn't seem right and he found himself reluctant to speak to Henry. "You should get back to your grandparents. There's no way Emma bought that line you gave her, she'll be checking up on you any moment."

"OK," Henry said, unperturbed. "See ya around, pirate."

A chill strikes though Hook at the name but Henry is still smiling cheerfully and waving as he walks down the gangplank. In no time he is out of sight, leaving Hook to fester with the unintentional wounds.

"Thank you," says a voice from behind him. His body reacts faster than his brain can process the voice and he spins raising his hook.

Emma reaches out and quickly grabs his wrist stopping it in its tracks.

"Bloody hell, lass, I could have impaled you."

"Is that a threat," she asked still holding his wrist fast.

Finally steadying himself, his smirk settled into place. "It could be, darling, is that why you're here? A lovely lady alone on my ship in the middle of the night...some might say that's as good as an invitation... "

She dropped his hand quickly "In your dreams," she muttered.

"Oh, you've no idea how creative my mind can be."

"Perhaps," she told him, rising to the banter and the opportunity to catch him off guard. "Perhaps I have my own fantasies. Sometimes they involve you...and handcuffs...in the Storybrook jail."

"Would you be joining me in this little- ?"

She interrupted him with a scoff and released his arm.

"Oh don't scoff, love." He lowered his voice and leaned closer, smirking when Emma was too proud to back down. "Remember that I've seen your fantasies. I've tasted them." His eyes flicked down to her lips for a moment. She was so close, with the smallest of efforts he could taste her lips again, but he sighed as he remembered his promise to Bae and took a step back instead. "You should know better than to sneak onto a pirate ship."

"I was not sneaking," Emma challenged, hoping he wouldn't notice that her voice had lost its commanding tone.

"Chills, darling." He mocked, and she knew he had noticed.

Pulling herself together and injecting confidence into her tone she continued; "I was making sure Henry was all right."

"Right, and you just happened to silently wander on board and out of sight while I was distracted by so bravely rescuing your only son from his own impulses."

Her eyes flicked towards where Henry had just disappeared and a thoughtful look crossed her face.

"He really should know better than to lie to me..."

"He should."

"Did he seem... strange to you?"

"Aye, Swan."

She looked thoughtful for a moment longer before shaking her head and turning to follow Henry. She stopped though and turned before reaching the gangplank.

"You're leaving?" She asked.

"Maybe tomorrow..." He said. He wanted to leave it at that but couldn't and he closed the distance between them. "I made you a promise, Swan. Whether you like it or not, I'll be back. But this is the only way I know how to back off, to give you time to realize you don't want the man who's already deserted you once."

"How is this so very different," she mumbled, so softly Killian doubted at first that he had heard correctly.

He reached towards her face touching a golden curl gently before moving to her cheek. "Because you can stop me with a single word."

She closed her eyes and froze, not leaning into him but not pulling away either. He didn't move either, savoring the contact but certain too drastic a move would send her running away, as always.

"I told Bae I would back off, Swan, but you can stop this. One word and you can stop this."

"I can't do this right now." Emma mumbles softly, eyes still closed.

"Of course not," Hook sighs, dropping his hand and breaking the spell between them "What is it now... dragon, curse, tide is out, weather too sunny?"

Her eyes snapped open at the barb and she glared. "You have an odd way of keeping your word to Neal," she accused.

"Hence the maps, love. I'm unaccustomed to going down without a fight."

She turned away leaning against the side of the ship and running her hands along the worn wood. She loved this stupid ship. It kept her safe, took her to Henry and brought him safely home again. She wasn't sure she was quite ready to see an empty harbor.

"Don't go." She said quietly.

Hook took a step closer and she turned around to face him.

"What was that, love?"

"Don't leave tomorrow...maybe the next day."

She finally turned away and followed the path Henry had taken, pretending she couldn't hear him murmuring "As you wish."

* * *

**an: Reviews always appreciated :) Still don't know how far I'm going to go with this but I was having too much fun to leave it there...**


	3. Coping

That woman was a siren. Just when he thought there was no hope she dangled a kiss, a look, a word, the tiniest tidbit of hope and dragged him back under again. He still could not bring himself to hate her, even as she led him towards his own destruction, just like the mermaids he so despised. And so she had once more. She had asked him to stay for one more day. He would acquiesce, no matter the cost.

And the cost was steep. He was to stay in Storybrooke. For a woman who would not have him, and must make no effort to fight for what he so desperately wanted. For he had given his word to Bae, and he would not betray him again, would not fight for what he wanted unless the Lady Swan made it clear that she wanted him to. Until Emma made a decision, he would stay the unwanted specter- God, why wouldn't she let him leave? How long would she try to work things out... and why wouldn't she let him live through her little experiment with Bae from a safe distance. From the middle of the sea where he could keep his word to everyone and torment only himself. It was the life he was used to. Not this world of pretense. Was he to stay and smile and watch Emma and Neal search for their happily ever after? Hover in case she sees fit to bestow another glance in his direction?

He knew why she wanted him to stay. She could keep him hanging around, knowing that he would support her no matter what without impeding upon her perfect life. Damn her for being so right. He thought back to what Henry had told him; _"He's been talking to mom all night and it doesn't seem like you're friends." _So Bae had decided to press his advantage, he and Emma had already started trying to live their perfect life at their perfect party with the bloody pirate stashed safely out-of-the-way in case she wanted a vacation back to bloody Neverland for her honeymoon.

He tried desperately to hate her, thoughts and accusations circling around his head as he tried to funnel his passion into something he could live with. A nice safe anger. It was useless.

Another swig of rum then. The only remedy that had never deserted him.

* * *

Emma practically ran from the dock, channeling her frustration into energy for the sprint. Eventually her pace dwindled as she approached Mary M- her parent's apartment. She found herself reluctant to enter the house, needing these moments of solitude to organize her thoughts. What had she done? She had asked Hook to stay, why? She was accustomed to him, grateful to him and now he was just going to desert her like everyone else. She pushed the habitual thought aside. They hadn't deserted her. Her parents, Neal... they had wanted "her best chance" and all that nonsense. Still she couldn't help the clenching in her stomach when Henry told her that Killian- Hook had been pouring over maps and charts for days trying to decide which far corner of the earth to abandon her for. She shoved the little girl afraid of being left alone back into her dark corner and built the walls up high around her. Neal had promised never to leave her and still he left her alone, why shouldn't the man who had made no such promise leave too? Why did she care? He had told her that he would win her heart, and was she really so cruel that she wished he would keep trying? She shook her head violently, it was horrible, she realized, she wanted him to keep trying even though she kept rejecting him... What kind of a person does that? She marched up the stairs to the apartment, anything was better than continuing this line of thought.

When she entered the apartment the smell of popcorn made her smile, apparently it was movie night. Henry paused it as she entered and Emma glanced at the screen only to see a wax-mustached, permed pirate staring back at her. She stared at her family flabbergasted, "You've got to be kidding me..."

Mary Margaret laughed a little and Charming just shrugged.

"Henry insisted."

"Yup" Mary Margaret agreed, "you have to admit this version is nicer."

Emma laughed. "All right, but there better still be popcorn left!"

"Nope," Henry laughed, "you'll have to make more. Tick-Tock, movie's gunna start again." Emma laughed as she hurried to the kitchen to make more popcorn.

They were right, this version was much nicer, however it certainly wasn't the ideal evenings activity when trying to avoid thinking about the too real one-handed pirate currently inhabiting Storybrooke's dock. She found herself smiling and wondering how he would react to watching his namesake scream "Blast good form!" and run around terrified from an animated crocodile. Henry laughed hysterically the whole time watching Pan's antics drive Hook up the wall, and Emma marveled at his childlike ability to love this movie so much - as if it were the first time he had seen it and he hadn't just lived through the horribly dark real-life version. Emma laughed with him, though, perhaps it was comforting to see a version of their enemy that was just a trickster?

Henry had a mischievous look on his face as they cleaned up the bowls of popcorn after the movie.

"That's a terrible idea, Henry," she comments at his look.

"What's that?"

"Calling Hook a codfish."

Henry grinned, "He wouldn't get it anyway, but that's half the fun."

Emma rolled her eyes as she finished drying the bowls. "Time for bed, kid." She tucked Henry in and began to get ready for bed herself. Henry's jubilant cries of "Hook's a codfish," echoed in her head. In her dreams Hook wore Red. Henry wore green.

* * *

"Looking delectable as always, Red."

Ruby rolled her eyes at the pirate who had taken up residence at the bar. He looked drunk again, but then wasn't he always these days.

"Why even bother with the show, Pirate?"

Hook winced. "What show, love, can a man not appreciate a beautiful form? I'm a gentleman," he winked, "you need not fear my advances."

"All right, I think that's enough beer for this evening." Ruby said, then glancing over his shoulder, seemed to change her mind. "On second thought, this one's on the house" she refilled the glass to the brim.

"My gratitude, darling, delightful company and a hearty drink, what more could a man desire." Ruby's eyes flicked over his shoulder again, and he took the bait, turning slightly and seeing Emma and Neal walking into the diner with Henry.

The pleasant buzz of the alcohol was immediately doused and he swallowed a good half of the complimentary beverage in one go.

"Ah, don't worry about that, love. I'll not make a scene over the Lady Swan. I'm in good hands tonight...You could be too-" He winked at her again and she just sighed, turning to make Emma's hot chocolate.

It wasn't long before Emma approached the counter to pick up the two hot chocolate's and Neal's coffee. "No cinnamon in one of them, Ruby. Henry's not really a fan of cinnamon these days." It was pretense of course, and Hook knew it. As if Ruby would not have brought their drinks to them as she always did.

Emma smiled at Hook politely and he did his best not to wince. _ Please no small talk. _

"I got four separate complaints about you today, Hook," she commented as she waited.

"Only four?" He seemed to consider for a moment, "It appears I'm losing my touch, I intended to send at least twice as many your way."

"It turns out shameless flirting is not actually an arrestable offense. Though in Belle's case, it certainly seems like it should be." She watched him as he smirked, "Do you really want to make Gold angry again?"

"What's he going to do, kill me?...He wouldn't kill me all those years ago when he took everything else from me, he's not going to do it now."

"Things have been going so well, Hook. He's trying to prove himself, for Neal. He saved Charming without asking for anything in return, Maybe-"

"Please don't, Swan." He said tersely. "I've not tried to kill him, I can give you no more."

Emma suddenly wished she could sink into the floor. What was she going to do, ask him to try to be friends with the man who killed the love of his life. He had given up his revenge and in that moment she finally understood what it had taken from him.

"Sorry, Killian," she said softly, and he glanced up in surprise. Ruby chose just that moment to bring over her drinks and Emma took them with a smile. With a nod to Ruby she disappeared back to her table.

Bloody siren.

After a few minutes someone sat down next to Hook and he turned towards them.

"Grumpy."

"And don't you forget it, you've got your own moniker so don't go stealing mine."

"Wouldn't dream of it, I'm having a lovely time."

Grumpy chuckled, "I can tell. People sitting alone at diners staring at dots in the wall are often the most cheerful of company."

"Yes, well, I needed to get away. A pirate ship is supposed to be freedom, not a prison."

Grumpy grimaced in what Hook supposed was some expression of sympathy. "I'd offer you a drink, but it seems you've no shortage."

Hook could hear Henry laughing from across the diner. Raising the rest of his glass in a mock toast to Grumpy he said "to happily ever after" then downed the rest of the drink.

He stood, perfectly steady despite the absurd amount of alcohol and bowed slightly to Ruby, "My gratitude and great pleasure, darling," he told her before retreating back out into the street. He was surprisingly steady on his feet, (that happens when you've spent the better part of three centuries drinking too much in a world where nothing ever changes.) Tolerance was an unfortunate side affect of Neverland, Hook supposed. Nothing changes, no one ages, and apparently no one drinks their liver into oblivion. Makes it bloody hard to get drunk enough to forget, though.

He wandered the dock, reluctant to board the ship again. It was just another reminder that he should be able to leave, but couldn't. He shook his head, knowing it wouldn't clear it. Finally in a fit of desperation he tossed his leather jacket onto the ship. The belt and leather vest went next then the boots. Now significantly lighter, clad in just his dark tunic and breaches he dove head first into the water.

As he dove he heard a desperate cry of "HOOK!"

The water was cold this time of year and the shock sent a tingling through him invigorating his body and mind. When his mind was a bit more clear he surfaced to find the source of the voice that had called for him, it sounded almost like... There was another splash and his eyes searched the dark water rapidly.


	4. Chills

Emma retreated from Hook as rapidly as possible berating herself for being an idiot. Why had Henry insisted that they bring Neal here. It was bad enough that he had begged her that they all go out together. He played the 'as a family' card, how the hell was she supposed to argue with that. She had wanted to turn around and leave the moment she saw Hook there at the bar, but Henry took her hand and skipped cheerfully to a corner booth. The closest table to Hook, because things just weren't awkward enough, "Family time" just had to happen right in front of the pirate.

When she reached the table again she handed the coffee to Neal and the plain hot chocolate to Henry. She glared at Neal for good measure, her eyes daring him to ask about Hook. Neal seemed to take the warning and simply nodded his thanks into the coffee. Neal and Henry talked but Emma seemed to have difficulty focusing on the conversation. Henry was particularly jubilant this evening, laughing loudly at Neal's terrible jokes and doing his best to get everyone to play the happy family. Emma couldn't really blame him, of course, she knew the feeling. But it felt like an act. They weren't any normal family...suddenly it occurred to her that this wasn't like Henry at all. Not that he wouldn't meddle in her personal life, it wasn't that. What about Regina. What about her parents. When Henry got on one of his big happy family kicks he usually wanted everyone involved - and Regina was just as much his mother as Emma was, maybe more so. So why was he so focused on her and Neal? She took a long sip of her hot chocolate savoring the cinnamon and did her best to focus on her son. Her eyes were drawn to the bar again though when Hook dropped his empty glass back to the bar top and gave a small bow to Ruby before stalking out onto the street.

He didn't look good. How long had he been here?

"I'm going to talk to Ruby for a moment, I'll be right back," she interrupted and got up from the table.

Once she got Ruby's attention she asked her how much Hook had to drink.

"Too much, probably, who knows how much he'd had out of that flask before he even got here." Ruby admitted, "I felt bad for the guy, he looked like such a wreck..."

"I think I should go make sure he's ok."

"He won't be Emma."

"Well then I should go make sure he's not making a mess of my town. He can feel sorry for himself in a jail cell if he needs to." Emma's voice sounded confidant and distant but Ruby saw right through her, as always.

Emma ignored Ruby's raised eyebrows and headed back to the table to make her excuses.

"It's Hook," she admitted. "Ruby says he's completely smashed ... I should make sure he doesn't have a relapse and try to destroy the town."

"The pirate has had a drinking problem for centuries now..." Henry started.

Neal nodded confirmation, "It's true, he's been getting smashed for years before you were around to keep an eye on him Emma, do you really..."

"Yeah, well, now he is in my town. Sheriff, remember. I'll see you later Henry."

She wrapped her jacket tighter around her as she walked into the street, feeling a chill that she wasn't sure had anything to do with the air temperature. She could see the docks in the distance now and sure enough she could see his profile even from here. She should go back. If he was here then he wasn't causing any trouble...

Suddenly she saw the figure toss something up onto the ship and then plummet into the water.

"Hook!" she cried, breaking into a run. What kind of pirate gets so drunk they can't even make it back to their own ship? She reached the edge of the water quickly searching the area. There. She could see a barely discernible shape below the water's surface, it had to be him. She felt a momentary flash of panic as she wondered if he had been drunk enough to just pass out into the water. Not even thinking to remove her jacket she dove in after him reassuring herself that she would never, ever let him live this down.

* * *

The water was cold this time of year and the shock sent a tingling through Hook's body, negating some of the alcohols numbing effect on his body and mind. The water always cleared his head, but it wasn't until he dove in that he remembered that the purpose of the alcohol was to muddy his head. Damn. He surfaced again to find the source of the voice that had called for him, it sounded almost like... There was another splash and his eyes searched the dark water rapidly.

"Emma!?" he called out worriedly, beginning to wonder if his mind was playing tricks on him again. Then after a few moments a flash of gold surfaced next to him and he grinned.

"Hello there, Swan. Fancied a midnight swim? If I'd known you were to join me I'd have left more behind."

She stared at him while treading water, "I thought you'd... a-are you..." She looked stunning even dumbstruck with drenched hair and trembling lips.

Trembling lips.

"Bloody hell... the water's freezing."

"I actually n-noticed that," she quipped back at him. finally seeming to remember herself and turning to make for the pier. He followed, outpacing her easily, she was still wearing her jacket, and probably her shoes and it made her sluggish in the water. He climbed out, turning to help lift her out of the water onto the pier. She squeezed the water out of her hair and clothes as best she could before Hook placed an arm around her and led her towards the ship. When they reached it he grabbed his coat from its edge and draped it over her shoulders marveling when she didn't so much as glare.

"Aren't you cold?" she asked him, tone expressing her irritation that it seemed to be bothering her so much more.

"Aye, Swan, but I've been in colder water than that. That was just invigorating."

She rolled her eyes at him, "that and your blood is mostly rum." She pulled his coat closer as a gentle breeze drifted by shooting right through her. She was still shivering and Hook muttered an indistinguishable curse. "Come on Swan, you'll freeze if we don't get you dry."

She nodded and followed him towards his cabin, too cold to protest just yet. As they walked however, she realized what getting dry would entail and she stopped.

"Hell no, Hook."

"That took longer than I expected," he said with a laugh "Don't worry love, I'm a gentleman remember, there happen to be several less efficient methods of warming up we can employ." He waved her inside and pulled out a tunic and breeches before leaving her to change. He had grabbed his own change of clothes on the way out and quickly changed into them outside the cabin door. After a few minutes he knocked on the door and he heard Emma call from inside; "Yeah... I'm dressed."

Killian pushed open the door smiling a bit at her oversized clothes. "Being a gentleman is most unpleasant at times."

"You're dry," she commented.

"Aye?"

"I wasn't sure you had more than one shirt..."

"It turns out it takes more than one tunic to get you through a three hundred year vengeance streak, darling, but I do know what I like. Speaking of which I love that neckline on you."

Emma clenched her fists to keep from fidgeting with the tunic instead glaring at him. "Looks better on me than it does on you, pirate," she mocked.

"I won't disagree. So, care to tell me why you felt the need to dive into icy waters after this most humble pirate?"

She scoffed. "You were drunk, I followed you to make sure I wouldn't have to arrest you for drunk and disorderly. When I heard the splash I assumed you fell in."

He laughed, "Ah, so the savior thought she had to rescue a pirate from drowning?"

"In retrospect it does seem a bit unlikely."

"I suppose I should be grateful you bothered," he commented dryly.

She glanced up at him, a softness in her eyes accentuated by the wet strands of hair framing her face. "Of course I bothered."

"Curse it, Emma," he burst out loudly, making her jump slightly. "I can't keep my word to him if I stay here, I don't know how. And you're not making it bloody easy. I tried to flirt with half the town today. I needed distraction, but they all know it's a show. So I decide to get drunk out of my mind and you just follow me back to my ship, dive in the blasted ice water after me and I'm supposed to just..." He leaned back against the wall closing his eyes and clenching his jaw. He may have built up a tolerance to alcohol but it was still making him speak too freely.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have followed you." Emma said, her voice still trembling slightly from the cold. Hook wanted to sit next to her, wrap his arms around her... he clenched his hand and didn't move.

"You should go, Swan, back to your parties, and your little experiment with Bae."

"What party?"

"Does it really matter what party. I know you're trying to make it work with Bae, and I know you got to be the heros of the party together. It's what you always wanted Emma. A whole family."

"But we-"

"Please just go."

"No! We didn't go to any party, why do you keep saying that."

"You didn't have a party when Henry got home?"

"Sure we did. Just my parents and me though. Neal wasn't there, not even Regina was there, he spent the night at her place after... We wanted to plan something bigger but life kept getting in the way, you know-"

"Why would he-"

"Henry's not a liar, Hook, why would he say anything like that."

Hook chuckled. "I didn't say his name first. I thought you had asked him to help you get me out of Storybrooke, he's been cramming maps down my throat for days...The boy wants his family back together, can't really blame him."

"That's not like Henry. He's not like that..."

"He's hit something of a rough patch, haven't we all."

Emma nodded, but then looked up again. "I think something's wrong with him, Hook. At first I thought I was just jealous of Regina, but I don't think that's it at all... Am I just going crazy?"

Hook chuckled and finally sat down next to her. "No more so than normal, Swan. Have you asked Regina -"

"Didn't go well."

"Give him time... if anything happens, we'll deal with it. It's what we do."

Emma looked up at him in surprise, "I thought..."

Hook smiled, pushing a wet strand of hair behind her ear. "I tried, love, more times than I can count." He laughed when a grin spread across her face. "Darling I still plan on making you want me, but for now, at least you want me to stay."

"Thank you."

"Doesn't mean you can stay here, lass." He took her hand in his own turning it over and kissing it gently. "You must go, because if you stay I will kiss you again. I'll not break my word."

She stood reluctantly to gather her soaked clothing. She turned when she reached the door though. "Neal... he's Henry's father." she said, "Neal has to be a part of his life."

Hook nodded, eyes carefully guarded.

"Henry needs him...But he's...he's not what I want anymore," she said, continuing quickly; "That doesn't mean I'm ready." For once it wasn't defensive or combative, he saw the lost girl in her eyes, peeking over the walls that kept her safe.

"We both know that I am bluffing when I tell you that you must leave this cabin. When you are ready to call it, I'll be here."

She smiled and slipped out of the room, relief washing over her. How could she possibly be so relieved when she hadn't even realized that she was frightened in the first place? Somehow she was starting to believe that he didn't want to leave her behind, like everyone else had. Then again, neither had her parents, and her heart clenched as she thought of Graham. He certainly hadn't intended to abandon her. Sometimes it just doesn't matter what people intend... As she walked she shrugged into her damp jacket zipping it up all the way and shivered. Sure, it was cold, but there was no way she was walking home in Killian Jones' tunic.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for all of the follows/favorites and reviews. They definitely inspire me to update faster when I see that people are interested! One more month...we have to do something until then, yes?**


	5. The Bluff

A 'lunch date' with Neal. Everyone was talking about her bloody 'lunch date' with Neal. Snow was thrilled, Henry was thrilled, everybody was bloody thrilled.

So perhaps, just perhaps he was going to have to find a better way than alcohol to deal with this whole 'long haul' thing. Tinkerbelle had of course seen right though his attempt to distract himself with mindless flirtation.

"Emma? Who's Emma, I only see you." Why bloody bother, she knew him too well.

The look on Emma's face when they emerged was almost worth it.

"Wait, were you two?" There was no reason for her to ask such a question of course, No reason to assume what she had assumed. It was worth it to be able to tell Emma 'perhaps' and watch that little look of jealousy flit over her face. It was of course quite possible that the Lady Belle would kill him in his sleep. It would still be worth it. He hadn't had much time to dwell on the fact before the screaming started again.

In a moment petty jealousy and games were forgotten and all hell broke loose. There was simply no other way to describe it. Pan's shadow was free in Storybrooke, and Hook was right, it only took orders from one person. One problem at a time. They had to deal with the shadow. So he Neal and Tinkerbelle were heading back to the ship to get the only thing that could capture Pan's shadow and Emma was with the crocodile and everyone else to find out how Pan was controlling the thing from that box. Regina had taken Henry underground to protect him until they figured out what was going on.

Once they had what they needed from the ship Neal glanced down and told them; "We have to get to Regina's Vault, now, there's a complication."

"How the bloody hell do you know that?"

"Welcome to the real world Hook, behold the magic of cellular phones."

"Magic always comes with ..." Hook starts, but Neal cuts him off with a bitter laugh. "Hi, I'm Neal, My father is Rumpelstiltskin, nice to meet you."

"No need to be abrasive, mate" Hook comments.

"Abrasive? Damn right I'm abrasive, _mate_. I get that you are helping the good guys for now, but you're a liar and I'd really rather we not talk. Or be in the same room if possible."

"I'm no liar, Bae."

"Neal, it's Neal, and if you're not a liar than where was she? Why didn't she show and why the hell were your clothes stacked next to the door when I picked up Henry."

Hook smiled. "You've got it all wrong, Bae. She saw someone in trouble, dove into the water after them. Being a gentleman I offered her the use of my cabin and clothing."

"I'll bet you did-"

Tinkerbelle cut in "Could you two bicker like children later, what is going on?"

Neal quickly filled them in on the situation. Emma was right. There was something wrong with Henry. He wasn't actually Henry. An unexpected relief surged through him, he hadn't realized how much it had wounded him; Henry's apparently not so innocent taunts and barbs. Glancing over Neal's shoulder a shudder passed through him. It was Henry, but not Henry, flying toward them born aloft by Pan's shadow.

"Hate to break it to you, mate, but it turns out were going to get a closer look at that complication."

Henry's face held a smirk that made it quite obvious that their hypothesis had been correct. Pan dropped lightly down onto the mast jeering at them.

"What a lovely little reunion, I'd so missed having you three around."

"Been enjoying yourself, lad?"

"Of course, I'd never turn down a chance to turn you into a whimpering pile of mush. Hook's a codfish. Hook's a codfish," Pan teased in a sing song voice. "I've wanted to do that for days. "

"Hilarious Pan," Neal cried, "do it from your own body and I will laugh with you."

"Not just yet, dear _Papa_, I rather like this situation. I can say all sorts of horrible things, and Hook won't even try to stab me in the neck."

Neal held out the coconut and lighter, "Give him back, Pan, or I swear..."

"Oh, not so fast. My shadow is the only thing keeping me up here, it's a long way down. How well do you think Henry's body will fare when he meets the deck from all the way up here? It's such a lovely ship, it would be a pity to get little pieces of Henry all over it."

Neal's hand wavered.

"You're bluffing," Hook said coolly grabbing the lighter from Neal.

"That would be true, if I were stuck in this body. Which I'm not. Didn't your ladylove warn you pirate. Henry is free, with my body. I could pop back over there and see how Emma is doing."

Hook pocketed the lighter. Pan was right. As long as Pan held Henry's body captive they couldn't risk taking the shadow.

"So we have the one-handed pirate with a drinking problem who I can turn into a stumbling slurring drunken mess with a few words. Bae who has already abandoned his son once and well... you're just a girl in a funny dress. These are Storybrooks great protectors. I tremble in trepidation."

"Versus one child with an over-sized ego, I like my chances." Hook smirked," not to mention we already beat you once."

"And yet here I am"

"Demon's are persistent, I'll give you that."

"So," Tinkerbell broke in, "if you have everything all figured out, what are you doing here?"

"Why retrieving that coconut of course."

"That's never going to happen." Tinkerbelle cried.

"Oh come now, haven't we been over this already. Little pieces of Henry splattering over the deck, and all that."

"Well why don't you come down here and get it then?" Neal comments.

"I think not. Throw it here, smash it to pieces, I don't much care how it happens, I'm flexible."

"You know, I still think you're bluffing, you oversized fairy." Hook cast an apologetic look to Tinkerbelle as he steped forward. "You won't harm Henry, He's the only thing keeping you alive."

"You would prefer that I switch back? I'm sure they're having some _touching_ family hugs right about now." In a puff of purple smoke a long wicked looking blade appeared in his hands. "Are you willing to be the destruction of another woman's heart?"

Killian's own heart clenched painfully and it took every ounce of concentration in his possession to school his face into its aloof disinterested expression. _ Not again, Never again, _his mind screamed relentlessly, _Just give him what he wants. _

___Shut up Killian, Hook is working. _He berated his anguished heart.

Neal looked like he was moments from just handing over their only chance and Tinkerbelle face held unguarded fear. He grabbed the coconut from Neal's hand and stepped away from them. They could not afford to lose this one to Pan.

"Let's not be too hasty here, Bae." Hook said coldly, determined to keep control of the situation.

"Have you ever seen a woman's heart ripped out?" Pan mocked, glaring down at Hook. He tossed the blade between his hands as he spoke, the effect made all the more chilling for Henry's sickening smile. "There was that once, poor Milah, but that was nothing. This way would be so much messier. Take longer too, I promise you that."

Hook did not wince, did not flinch, simply continuing his reflections as though the boy had not spoken at all. "I have lived through plenty of years with this tiny tyrant, and now that I am stuck in this world I'd rather not see it turn into another Neverland... I think I'll be holding onto this."

"Really you'd give her and her little boy up?" Pan stopped tossing the blade back and forth now grasping the blade with his... Henry's bare hand. Blood rained down as Pan laughed, "You'd coat your hands...well hand, in her blood?"

"Hook," Neal pleaded, "Hook, Please don't do this. It's Emma, I thought..."

"So did I, but you know a man does grow weary of being toyed with. I survived this long looking out for myself, it works for me. Actually it works for everyone. If she survives you've got yourself an open field, mate."

Henry's face was screwed into an expression of irritation as Pan studied Hook carefully. "I'm disappointed Hook, I had hoped you wouldn't be so opposed to working for me again." He sighed, "All right pirate, have it your way." Henry disappeared, shadow in tow leaving behind nothing but a small splatter of blood on the deck of Hook's ship.

"What have you done, Hook?" Neal mumbled, fumbling desperately for his phone and hitting redial. "Come on, Emma, pick up the phone. Damm it, pick up the phone."

There was silence before Neal slammed the phone shut and approached Hook menacingly. "I swear Pirate, if you just got her killed I will run you through myself" Hook was staring at the blood on the deck of his ship, eyes unfocused and hazy "I will destroy you, do you hear me?"

"I'm counting on it, mate" Hook mumbled, sinking wearily against the rail of the ship. With Pan gone Hook collapsed in on himself, sinking down onto the deck with Pan's words echoing through his head _"Messier...Take longer too... " _

_God, what have I done?_

_Not again... Never again...Not again... Not again..._

* * *

**AN: Wow so my muse got a bit darker than I expected there. Yeah... Sorry (not really)... Review and let me know what you think. Next chapter will most likely be the last! **


	6. The Curse

"I will destroy you, do you hear me?"

"Counting on it, mate" Hook mumbled, sinking wearily against the rail of the ship. With Pan gone Hook collapsed in on himself, transforming in a moment from a cold, self-centered pirate to a broken man unable to even remain standing.

Tinkerbelle chastised herself for doubting him. She had known with certainty only hours ago that he was in love with Emma, but she too had let his show place a seed of doubt in her mind. His bluff had saved their hope, but what had it cost him? She pushed in front of Neal and said quietly, "Try again Neal... just try again." It had been a while since Tinkerbelle had so acutely felt the loss of her wings. She hadn't known Emma very well, in truth, but she knew Neal and she knew Hook. More importantly she had seen how much Hook had changed in recent years, anyone who was able to inspire that was well worth protecting.

He picked up the phone, and to Hook the silence stretched longer than all the centuries he'd lived. Tinkerbelle dropped down next to him, putting an arm around him gently. "It'll be fine, Hook, I'm sure she's fine. She's strong, she can take care of herself," she murmured comfortingly; endless platitudes just above a whisper. She knew he probably wasn't listening to her words but at least he wasn't alone. Hook was grateful to her, somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew no one should die alone and uncomforted...

The phone snapped closed again. Neal's eyes flicked to Hook, collapsed on the deck , and he remembered the one other time he had looked down onto the pirate. He had found Milah's portrait. Hook had told him they could be a family. Begged him to understand... He snapped himself into focus again. Hook was utterly useless right now, the next move was up to him. Neal paced back and forth a couple of steps trying to decide what to do. "They're too far, by the time we got there, he could already..." his voice was gruff with uncertainty and anger.

He picked up the phone one more time, still pacing.

"David, thank God, what's going on there?"

There was a pause while Neal listened, jaw tensed. Hook didn't even look up. He stared at the deck trying not to see, trying not to hear. Fighting to postpone the inevitable moment when his life ended. He looked at that spot on the deck. It would become hers, just as the other had become Milah's...It wouldn't though, he realized. It could never become hers because he couldn't survive this again. How could any man survive this again? Neal would not keep his word, Hook realized. Probably he would beat the bloody hell out of him but he would not keep his word.

"David, stop, calm down. I know all that. Where's Emma?"

Hook would have to end Pan first, of course, the desire for revenge was an achingly familiar need. Then what? Henry would have his father, her family would have each other. Nothing was left to tie Hook to this town. The sea would be his comfort. As it had been Milah's...as it had been Liam's. He morbidly realized that it would hurt to scuttle her. It would hurt desperately, but not for long.

Tinkerbelle couldn't pull her eyes from Neal's face, and she saw the moment the relief spilled over it. Watched the tension visibly drain from his body. Then she was kneeling in front of Hook. "She's fine, Hook, it worked. It was brilliant, and it worked."

"We'll be there soon," she distantly heard Neal telling Charming, "keep an eye on Henry. Pan says he can switch back anytime."

Hook looked up slowly, studying her face; looking for the lie, the pity. It wasn't there and he breathed again.

"He was bluffing too." Neal finally spoke, closing the phone, "at least according to my dad. Apparently not even Pan can do that on a whim. Doesn't mean he's not scary as all hell but they'll see him coming."

Hook stood again, clasping his prize tightly in his good hand.

Neal watched him with an odd look before finally speaking again.

"I was wrong."

Hook raised an eyebrow. "And on what particular count would you wish to concede that?"

"I told you once that I knew you would never change."

"Bae ..."

"That does not make us friends, pirate. Let's get going."

* * *

This was a rather confusing experience. It was Henry. Emma hadn't the slightest doubt in her mind but she still felt like she was hugging Peter Pan. When would this kind of thing cease to surprise her...

She had Henry back, in a manner of speaking. Hook was going after the shadow. Hopefully Regina and Gold were coming up with some kind of plan to deal with the whole body switching situation. (Wow had she really just thought that...) Why couldn't things just be normal. She had only ever worried about herself. Now she has a son who seems to be a magnet for trouble who was now stuck inside the body of the person who had tried to kill him. The boys father still said he was in love with her. You know when he wasn't sending her to bloody prison... Oh, just perfect. Her internal monologue sounded like Hook.

She cut it off rapidly, as usual. The time for reflection would be later.. Always later.

A cell phone rang and she jumped. She almost laughed a the idea of being startled by something so utterly normal. David picked up the phone:

"Hey Neal," _since when did David and Neal...chat._

Emma distantly heard David starting to describe what they had discovered, the body switching, all the insanity... She had already texted Neal the details when she had asked them to meet back at Regina's crypt, but it was certainly the kind of thing that took a few repetitions to understand.

"Emma? Why, do you need to talk to her?"

Then something caught her attention. David cast a look at P- Henry... then walked over to Gold. There is a quick hushed conversation before David continued; "Gold doesn't think that's possible, Neal, just get there as soon as you can."

Hook, Neal and Tinkerbelle were the first there but a few coordinated efforts let them know pretty quickly that physical force was not going to be the solution to this particular problem. Hook leaned against the stone door. His nerves were still on edge, adrenaline pumping and he had a feeling that it would not stop, not until he saw her again. Not until he could see with his own eyes that he hadn't killed her. And what a bloody marvel she was once she arrived. He knew he was staring, but he also knew that she wouldn't notice. Not until they had dealt with the threat to Henry. His eyes never left her. He took in every detail, the leather jacket, proud posture, even that bloody stupid hat...

They had all gathered around Gold now. The Hero types (and the crocodile...) were doing their thing, planning. He should be paying attention. But Emma is standing in front of him. She's alive. She's alive and it's all he can do to not reach out and touch her, just to be sure. Eventually they come to some sort of consensus. They need the black fairy's wand and so they are off on another quest. Neal and Tink leave as the group breaks up, and he follows. Almost without his volition he turns, hesitates, unsure if he can bear to leave her again. Then he realizes that he must. Not only because they need the wand, but because in a group with Emma, Hook would be worse than useless right now, captivated into stillness by her mere presence. She was all right. That was enough for now. He turned again and followed the other two. Time to play the hero again.

* * *

Emma almost laughed to herself when she realized how much she had come to rely on these almost villains. Gold and Regina were the creators of this plan to get Henry back and all of the so-called Hero's were just along for the ride. And Captain Hook was spearheading the effort to get the most crucial element. What's worse is that she trusted him to succeed. She knew he would, without any fiber of doubt in her being...She knew he would succeed and bring one of the most powerful magical objects in existence back to her. That in itself was a bit terrifying if she thought about it too hard. She didn't have to think about it too hard though because suddenly they were back and this villain driven plan had worked..apparently.

Everyone ran outside, and before long she had her son in her arms again, she and Regina clinging desperately to their son. Regina pulled up his hand, where a large bleeding gash was visible.

"What happened Henry?" and Neal quickly offered a handkerchief to her to wrap it with.

"It's nothing," Henry said.

"Pan did it to himself," Hook broke in.

"When he was trying to convince Hook to give up the coconut," Neal finished.

Hook and Neal finishing each others sentences was certainly something she wouldn't be getting used to anytime soon.

"Fortunately one of us was thinking clearly," Tinkerbelle commented with a nod to Hook.

Hook glanced up. He would never quite get used to this tendency. The Hero types always felt the need to give credit in awkwardly public ways. He was used to a more implied variation. Do what you must or die trying. If you're still alive you're doing it right.

The celebration was short-lived however, and Pan was one step ahead of them as always. Ever the showman, he froze everyone in their tracks, a captive audience to gloat to. Bloody brat. Pan approached Emma and suddenly Hook was thinking things far more colorful than brat. But apparently he wanted only to talk.

"Did you know he was willing to give you up, Savior. The puppy's still got some pirate in him."

Emma's eyes widened and Pan laughed and continued. "Oh yes, You saw the little nick I gave Henry to try to point out the selfishness of his choice. But he would rather let you and your boy die than to be trapped in Neverland again. Guess he wasn't getting what he needed from you, sweetheart."

Emma felt like she could collapse, but she couldn't, the spell held her fast. He had been willing to give them up? She knew he hadn't exactly loved Neverland, but he would trade her and her son to escape that fate?

Hook couldn't see her, couldn't tell if she was falling for it. It would be foolish to hope that she wasn't. He could only imagine her rage. He had little time to dwell on the subject though because suddenly the crocodile himself emerged. When the crocodile killed the demon for him and everything unfroze he remained locked in place for a moment or two. Pan was dead, the crocodile was gone. His task of three centuries was complete, even if not by his hand or volition. He was supposed to feel relief. But all he could hear was Belle's anguished sobs and all he could see was Bae's shock; a slight tremble in his hands and voice that he tried desperately to hide.

Then it got worse, always worse.

"You have to go, Emma."

He was cursed. The world was extracting vengeance on him for the darkness of his past. How else could it be possible to expect one man to endure so much?

Then they were walking towards the town line. Someone was bringing Emma's oddly colored vessel and she would be gone.

He hooked her wrist as she walked. She had not spoken to him since Pan's little revelation. She turned her glare on him a look of betrayal in her eyes as she walked faster to avoid him. Tink pressed his shoulder gently and ran to catch up with Emma.

"Emma you can't keep doing this to him," she whispered.

"To him? He..."

"No Emma, are you really going to let Pan destroy you both? He chose your son Emma."

"What do you mean?" Emma asked confusedly.

"Pan threatened Henry but Hook knew he couldn't kill Henry while he was still using his body. So he threatened you. He convinced us that he could switch back and kill you before you even knew he had returned to his own body. Hook put on a hell of a show, convinced Pan that he was keeping the coconut for himself in the hopes that it would lessen the incentive to attack you. Without that coconut we couldn't destroy Pan, and the Henry would be always in danger. He chose your son, thinking that he had sacrificed you in the process. It nearly destroyed him."

Emma's mouth dropped open a bit but Tink continued. "Look Emma, I know what you've been through. And look what's happening now, I know it's hard to get attached when you feel that you will constantly be ripped apart. But...you know he loves you. Please Emma don't send him back there with nothing. Give him something to remember other than your disdain."

Emma glanced back at Hook and he was still watching her. As always. She dropped back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know... I thought."

"I would always choose you Emma, Always. But the alternative was your son, I couldn't do that to you..."

She took his hand and he clasped it tightly, reassuring himself that she was still here. For now, she was still here.

"Thank you." Relief flooded though his eyes for a moment but they darkened again.

"I will find a way back to you, Swan, you know that right?" He still hadn't released her hand, and somehow she didn't mind.

"I believe you," she smiled, "you did say you liked a challenge."

"In this particular case I do not believe like is an appropriate term. But it is certainly worth the challenge."

* * *

The enchanted forest was a gloomy place. No one was particularly happy to be back and there was mostly silence as everyone tried to acclimate themselves. Belle was inconsolable. Regina had put up a cold hard exterior that fooled no one into believing she was not breaking inside. Emma's parents threw themselves into their leadership roles, with a relish. Anything to not think.

Killian had no one to pretend for. He made for the Jolly Rodger immediately upon arrival. Snow placed a delicate hand on his arm before he could go though.

"You're...You'll come back?" she asked.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"If you wish it, your majesty, I will return."

"Please Just call me Snow. And I do wish it. You belong here now. We all must stick together if we're going to get through this."

Hook nodded. "I need some time alone, yo- Snow. Might I ask you a favor, though?"

"Of course."

"Call me Killian? If you are uncomfortable with that, I am well used to the moniker..."

"Killian." She tried it out and smiled. "See you before dark?"

"Aye."

He retreated into his cabin, digging through boxes desperately searching. It had been centuries but they were here, somewhere.

Charcoal and paper faded with age. He hadn't touched them since a desperate desire to remember Milah's face had led him to sketch her in the aftermath of her destruction. Now the desire overcame him again. Placing the charcoal to the paper he started with one word, writing it in the calligraphy script he had learned as a boy.

"Good."

* * *

**AN: Hope you enjoyed that. I know it doesn't feel like much of an ending...because it really isn't. It's just the beginning. This is continued (one year later) in a short story I've already finished called "Dare to Hope." Leave a review and let me know what you think and check out my continuation if you want to know what happens in New York!**


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